Game Over!

"If it's really going to be us, then it will be us! Love will find its way."

It was about a year ago when I admired this certain guy. Let us call him "Tempered." He seemed to be the guy who has a hidden beauty. It was not until we became Sophomores when his beauty was noticed. For me, I did not admire him just for his physical appearance but also because I thought he was God-fearing, intelligent, nice and almost every trait that most guys in our batch did not seem to possess.

"Tempered' became somehow close to me. We talked about whatever things we can think of. He was fun to talk with. His eyes were simply expressive. Things between the two of us went on so smoothly.

One night of November, it was our Athletes' Night. I was so much busy preparing the food for the band members that were going to perform. I was already so much exhausted. When I checked my phone, there was a text message. As I opened it, it contained the lyrics of a song that "Tempered" sang during our Intramural Games. But when I asked who the owner of that number was, disappointedly, it wasn't the guy I thought. He introduced himself as a Nursing student of Cebu Doctors' University. I was quite doubtful of the identity he told me. Since my aunt works in that learning institution, I planned to let her verify it. Days passed by, I still continued exchanging text messages with that unknown person in order to know more things.

I was a Monday. Classes resumed. As I was talking about that unknown number, "Tempered' suddenly butted in. He told us that that certain number also sent him a message. My doubt seemed to grow that the owner of that number is just someone around who knows us.

One day, the owner of that unknown number was finally identified with a friend's help. And yes, he was no other than "Tempered." Even if I knew the owner, I did not stop to exchange messages with him. In our exchange of text messages, my admiration towards him grew. My hidden admiration was starting to get into people's knowledge.

Christmas party came. At this point, a lot knew about my admiration for "Tempered," It was somehow humiliating. Several people were discreetly teasing us. It was on the eighth day of December when he admitted that he admired me. I didn't take it too seriously as I know the situation. He has a girl. I found it impossible or weird as I know where I stand in the society. A lot of people around are way way prettier than I am. On the ninth day of December, I finally told him about my admiration for him. I felt really stupid for telling him but I just took the risk of saying it. I think it was also during this day that he 'courted' me. I felt guilty as I know that they are still on. I don't want to ruin a relationship. My conscience wouldn't be able to take it. With this, I felt bad towards hi because if he was really serious of what he said, he would not think of entering another relationship without ending the other as this would hurt a lot f people. After such, I started to become rude towards him.

Christmas vacation was over. Back to school again! At this point, I knew that he had a relationship with another girl even before ending his past relationship. I really felt disappointed. I should have not admired him. Things went on differently. I barely talked to him and oftentimes, I would avoid him. These things are better than the days that followed. I did not talk to him, not even a single word came out of my mouth. This went on for three weeks.

I can't take it an longer. I can't suppress things. With that, I talked to him. I frankly talked to him. I gathered all my guts just to clear things up.

When I thought things were clear, I talked to my friends about what took place. They told me that they are confused of what the truth really is. The told me that he was making contradicting statements. Yes, I admit. I myself noticed that. Again, I tried to talk to him. This time, he told me that things are over.

There's no problem with me if it's over. Now, I have realized that he's not the person I expect and thought him to be. I was WRONG! He's not worth it! Game over!

Sorry may be a meaningful word. It's easy to say sorry and it's easy to say that it's all right. But you can never take away the pain you have caused. It will always be a part of a person's memories.

P.S. To that certain person, thank you for being my friend. Thank you for the time we have spent together. I know that you are still somehow immature. I hope you know that I have tried my very best to fix things and that to let our friendship remain but I also hope you know that I have my limitations as I am just a human. I grew tired of the situation. I hope you'd learn to decide on your own and that you'd learn to take a stand.

The March of Death

About 7600 Filipinos and Americans walked the Death March from Mariveles, Bataan to San Fernando, Pampanga. They walked without food nor water. They suffered the cruelty of the Japanese soldiers. Walking many miles in several days. They didn't know what fate awaited them at the end of the march. They could be executed, tortured or if fortunate enough, they'd be set free. Many died even before reaching their destination. If they try to escape, they would be killed immediately using a sword or a gun. What a brutal death they had! While they were walking, some were wounded that made them have a hard time walking. That march was between life and death but some have helped others. They carried the severely injured people even if they themselves were also injured. I am quite certain that they missed the peaceful life they had before the Japanese came. Their families were left uncertain of how they will be able to cope up with life for the fact that a family member is suffering through the hot days of April.
All I feel is that they are piteous. If only I was in their shoes, I would suffer the same things they went through. In the verse Isaiah 40:31 it says, "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." This explains that everyone who looks up to God will have new hope to walk through the journey of life and its challenges. In the poem of Bienvenido N. Santos "The March of Death," there is a line that goes like this : "March, my brother, march! The springs are clear beyond the road, there is rest at the foot of the hill." For me, this means that there is an end in all the sufferings that you are in. There is rest after all the hardships you have gone through. A rest is forever and that is in God's arm for when we lay ourselves upon Him and accept Him as our personal Savior, He will give us eternal life where there is no more problem. Your life may be gloomy but with God, it will shine like the sun. The wound you have in your heart will be healed.
Every time I fall, I just look up to God and He pulls me up. The March of Death is just like us, some fall and can no longer stand up for they do not look up to God.But if you persevere and strive to finish the trials of life, God will lead you to the way everlasting. We may be blessed now that we weren't able to suffer like the people who marched to their death but we should give importance to them. They suffered more than they should. So, remember the day they marched to their sad fate.