Pressure on Me

Life is tough. It's tougher when you're in my situation. I'm the second child in a family of six children. Being considered as the more responsible and more matured child, a lot expect so much from me. They expect me to be a person who has the capacity to do everything. But I am just a human. I am not perfect nor chose to perfect. I have my faults. I am weak though I may seem strong. I am weak but I have the will to do things to the best I could. I don't want to appear weak to people as I would just be weaker.

At home, people expect me to know everything being the more intellectually capable. With this, they seem to make me independent as they believe that I am responsible enough to disern good things from bad things. Yes, I admit that I think I'm responsible enough to disern things but it does not mean that I don't need thier guidance. There were times that felt really bad. Reminiscing the past, I underwent so much trials. So much pain was there. I thought it to be unfair. Often times,my mother scolds me for things I did not do as it was my brother's fault. Being the elder sister, I was the one reprimanded. Ithought it to be fine. Unlike my brother, I am very much afraid of my parents. though I may disobey at times, I really feel do much guilt afterwards. When it comes to academic issues, my mom sits with me while I study. She's definitely strict. I used to stay up until twelve midnight and wake up at four in the morning just to get the lesson right. Whenever test results are released, it makes me have butterflies in the stomach as I know for a fact that my parents will be evry much disappointed when I have more than three mistakes in that particular examination. There was even a time when I hid my test results in one of our cabinets. When my parents found them, owhhh my, I got y dressing down. When it comes to my relationship with my siblings, as most parents say, "Just understand. You're the older one." Being an elder sister, I have always tried to understand but as a human, you can never really avoid misunderstandings which lead to arguments. But once we get along, it would really be something to treasure.

There were people who tried to pull me down but with these things that I have gone thru, I was motivated to persevere and stay firm. I know that battles will just be over as long as you gather the courage to face these. Obstacles are placed to mold you or to bring out the best in you, not to disourage you from living your life here on Earth.

P.S. To my parents, thank you for being there for me. Thank you for the time and effort. I may not be a perfect daughter but I hope you know that I'm trying my best in everything I do for your happiness. I'm sorry for taking things as something unfair. Now I know that what you have done to me before, like your being strict, has motivated me to become a more responsible and understanding me.